Willingness, honesty and open mindedness are the essentials of recovery. But these are indispensable.
Big Book of Alcoholics Anonymous – Appendix II Spiritual Experience page 567
Much can be said about Willingness, Honesty and Open Mindedness, and the first thing that comes to mind is quite simply the acronym of HOW. Rearranged slightly, yet the same three words we have the solution to the steps. How to do the steps? Apply HOW. Honesty, Open mindedness and Willingness.
Honest with myself first. Honest with myself about whatever it is that I am struggling with, honest about the situation with me on the inward level first. Once I begin to be honest with myself, then I can begin to be honest outward. This is not to be confused with cash register honesty. most of us will do the right
thing if someone makes a mistake. Most of us generally tell the truth to the best of our abilities. This deeper honesty that I am referring to, is inward only. I could lie to myself about something. Rationalize it. Hmm, Rational Lies. I can rationalize and justify a situation or a behavior to myself, to make it acceptable to me. When upon self-appraisal, upon being honest with myself, I could see how I was lying to myself about the truth of something. The type of Honesty required here is Self-Honesty.
Next is Open Mindedness. If I am closed minded to anything, then I begin immediately to shut down to growth, potential and change . Open mindedness led me in the beginning to try my substance to change how I felt. I had the open mindedness to try the substance. It changed how I felt. I liked that change so I continued to use that substance. I developed a problem. So now, the type of open mindedness I am looking at will again lead me to change. I am looking at trying a spiritual solution for recovery. If I identify a problem in being Honest with myself, if I then consider being Open Minded to new ideas, then I begin to position myself for new experiences. If I am closed minded to trying something new, then I will never have new experiences. So Open Mindedness is very important.
This leads to the final clause, however in my opinion, it is the most important. Willingness. If I am not willing to try something, then I won’t it is that simple. Usually, in my experience, willingness comes when I get tired of living my life a certain way. That tiredness sometimes comes in the form of pain. Pain is a great teacher, and usually motivates me to change. In effect pain creates willingness. So as a result of wrong living, I ended up in some painful situations, and in turn willingness to change was created. I developed the willingness through pain, through suffering through making mistakes.
When I no longer wished to be in the situations that were happening, when the pain was greater than the reward and I could see that. It was then I became wiling. When I became willing I could see the truth inside of me, thus I became more honest. Once I could be honest about the situation, then I could look at options. Find alternatives, become open minded.
It’s no mistake that even though I am referring to the acronym of HOW, that when Bill wrote appendix II, he put them in the order of Willingness, Honesty and Open mindedness. It took pain to create a desire for change, which leads naturally to being more honest and open mind. The beauty of the quote I just mentioned, the sexiness of it all is this. It states that these are the essentials of recovery. Then it reinforces that fact by saying they are indispensable, in the next separate sentence.
This is concept is hit home twice, that willingness, honesty, and open mindedness are fundamental principles for change.